Words create worlds
How Changing The Way You Speak Can Make Your Family Stronger
When we were kids, we used to say: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Turns out that’s not true!
Words can make you feel like you are on top of the world or like the world is on top of you. The words we use can make our families joyful, or miserable. The way we talk to each other can make a big difference in how well everyone gets along. So, let's look at five cool ideas that can help make your family life better.
Idea 1: Understand Feelings When You Talk
What's Behind the Words
Being mindful of feelings helps in school and work, and it's super important at home too. When you understand how someone feels, it's easier to have a good chat with them. Studies show that families who get this right solve problems way better.
Quick Tip: Listen to what your family is saying, and pay attention to how they may be feeling. Think before you speak , remember “not everything that goes through your mind should come out of your mouth”. Think about how you would feel if someone told you what you are about to say. It makes conversations way better.
Idea 2: Use "I Feel" Instead of "You Make Me Feel"
Take responsibility
Saying "I feel sad when you do that" is better than saying "You make me feel sad." It sounds like a small change, but it makes a big difference. It helps everyone stay calm and talk things out. “I feel” tells the other person that you are taking responsibility of how you feel, “ you make me feel” shift’s responsibility to the other person. People who take responsibility of their lives are far more happy than those who don’t.
Quick Tip: Use "I feel" statements to share how you're feeling. It puts you in the driving seat of your life, and as a bonus you’ll find conversations are much calmer and respectful.
Idea 3: Cheer Each Other On
The Power of "Good Job!"
Encourage each other, acknowledge their efforts, be their biggest 📣 cheerleader! It actually helps people think better, especially when they're stressed out. When someone acknowledges your effort your brain celebrates and wants to do that again, making you more enthusiastic about challenges. I often talk about the cortex vortex- it happens when you are stressed and overwhelmed- your brain can’t see a way out, positive affirmations from a loved one can give you a different perspective bringing light into a dark situation.
Quick Tip:Always be on the lookout for things your family does well and give them a shoutout. It makes everyone feel good and gets along better. Watch your family members beam with pride when they get your praise 😊
Idea 4: Really Listen
More Than Just Hearing
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listening isn't just about hearing words; it's about really understanding what someone is saying and what they are NOT saying. That means looking at them, nodding your headd as you engage in the conversation, and even asking questions to make sure you get it.
Quick Tip: The next time your family is talking about something important, put away distractions. Focus on the person talking, look them in the eyes, if you’re on your phone, turn it on its face so that you can’t see it. If they have interrupted something you are busy with, ask them if you can pick up the conversation at a later time when you can focus on them. Then make the time to sit down and listen to them. You'll be surprised how much better the conversation goes, an added benefit is that the other person will feel like you value them, and that is gold!
Idea 5: Saying Sorry the Right Way
Making Things Right
Saying sorry can fix a lot of problems, but it has to be a real apology. That means saying you're sorry, admitting you messed up, and making an effort to do better next time. If you were not the person who did wrong, ask yourself, do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? We can all use a little more grace, and extending grace to your family tells them that you love them and care about the relationship.
Quick Tip: When you are apologising, make eye contact. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. And remember the golden rule, do to others what you want them to do to you. When you lead with humility your family will be stronger.
Words are super powerful. They can make your family life way better or way worse. So, use these five ideas to make sure you're making things better. Remember, the way you talk to your family today can make tomorrow awesome or not-so-great. Choose wisely!
Odette de Beer is passionate about creating strong families that stand together through any storm. She writes from a place of love and passion for her own family.
So, go ahead and use your words to make your family life the best it can be. After all, words are like the glue that holds us all together.
#FamilyLife #GoodVibes #ListenUp #SaySorry
Speak life into your family dynamics and watch as the very architecture of your relationships transforms. After all, in the grand tapestry of life, words are the threads that weave us all together.
#FamilyDynamics #EmotionalIntelligence #PositiveReinforcement #ActiveListening #PowerOfWords